How To Attract Quality Single Men
Updated: Mar 20
Be honest with me. Have you been having trouble figuring out where to go to attract quality men? I get asked all the time "Where can I go to find quality single men?" The reality is the answer to this question isn't that simple. Even if a single women went to the Million Man March, if all she does is just stand there, she won't get the results that she's looking for. Sure, she might get lots of attention because of the ratio and it might boost her ego momentarily, but in the long run, it won't solve the problem of helping you attract someone who is ideal for your life.
When it comes to attraction, the relationship needs to be cultivated on both sides, not just the man. This all starts from the very beginning. That means from the very first moment you decide you are emotionally available to meet someone, the attraction process has begun. Remember, attraction is an ART; not something you leave to chance. If in the past your method for attracting a quality, single man was to hope, pray and wish, I want you to throw that strategy away and embrace the idea of being a proactive dater.
Tip #1: There Are No Days Off From Attracting Men
No matter where you go, always present yourself as if you are expecting to meet Mr. Right. You never know when or where he will show up in your life, so always be ready. Men are ALWAYS on the hunt for women, so never let your guards down. If you expect to meet a quality, single man any and everywhere you go, chances are you will.
The key here is to sell yourself to men you find attractive by sending him positive energy. The way to do that is by simply making eye contact, smiling and even sparking up conversation by saying "Hello". Men are always interested in connecting with a new woman. What he wants from you is a personal invitation, letting him know that it's ok to approach you and pursue you. So no R.B.F. (Resting B**ch Face) allowed. Send energy that will attract him to you, not repel him from you.
Tip #2: Shop For Men Outside Of Your Network
When you're scouting new men, look in places that you don't normally frequent. For example, at least once a week, try visiting a new gym with the sole purpose of meeting and connecting with a different guy. Every gym you visit, you will be the new girl and there will likely be an increased desire to pursue you, as there will be a fear of missing out on ever seeing you again.
The same effect can happen by visiting a new church, or attending a conference not related to your industry, or a festival that you're unfamiliar with but has lots of men in attendance. The less familiar you both are with each other, the better! All the more intrigued you both will be with each other. There are plenty of fish in the sea; too many to settle for the little fish in the pond in your backyard.
Tip #3: Be Confident Going Places By Yourself
Going places by yourself will increase the likelihood that single men will approach you. Not to mention, it shows that you are confident in yourself and have high esteem, both of which are wildly attractive to men. When a man sees a "pack" of women together at any given function, to him it looks like a "Waiting To Exhale" moment, where the group of women are gathered to complain about their bad luck with men and relationships. This may or may not actually be the case, but nonetheless, this will be the perception men have while looking from afar.
Just like you, men don't want to experience rejection, and there's a higher probability of rejection if facing a pack of 4+ women. So to avoid men avoiding you, reduce the amount of women you frequently go places with whenever possible to increase the likelihood of men approaching you. Also keep in mind that when you go places with your beautiful female friends, you are ultimately increasing your own competition, unnecessarily. To increase the likelihood of attracting a man who is ideal for yourself, remove all the unnecessary noise and distractions around you so that he can see you for you and be attracted to you and you alone.
Tip #4: It's All A Number's Game
Attracting quality single men is easy, but not every quality single man is going to be ideal for you. Hell, a lot of the men you meet won't even be 100% single. With this in mind, resist the temptation to jump at the first opportunity that feels or looks good without doing your research and qualifying him for the leading role. This is where the abundance mindset kicks in. No matter how good he looks, or how much money he makes, or what he promised you, you have to take your time and set standards to determine who is ideal for you.
This will require you to meet more than one guy, date more than one guy, and most importantly, release more than one guy the moment you've determined he is not your ideal mate. So be prepared to go out with intention each and every day in places you don't normally frequent so you can attract multiple men for auditions for the position you want him to be in your life.
Tip #5: Don't Be Boring
There is an abundance of high quality single women in this world; in fact there are more quality single women than men can handle, so make sure you are interesting, exciting and desirable (to men), otherwise men will likely overlook you. Ultimately, men want Food, Sex & Peace Of Mind. Since we know this about men and it's men you want to attract, there is a way to use the information you have to get and keep his attention without selling yourself short.
Food is the way to a man's heart, so for the second date, find a way to feed him. This doesn't have to be expensive or complicated; it simply must show love, energy and effort. For less than $20, you can go pick up 2 water bottles, 2 bags of chips, 2 turkey wraps and eat at the park. Mission accomplished!
With sex, this is 100% your call. What I recommend is sending sexual energy in the form of an intimate physical connection. That could be a warm hug, a soft/passionate kiss, holding of hands or even a gentle rub on his arm or leg. Anything to let him know that you are romantically interested in him and sexually attracted to him. Without this feeling, he won't see the value in continuing to invest time in you.
With peace of mind, show him that you care about the things he cares about. Listen attentively and use the information you receive to your great advantage.
Tip #6: Don't Be Afraid To Walk Away
The less you are willing to tolerate, the more attractive you become. Remember, this is all a game... a game of psychology. Value is about perception. If a man knows you will stick around no matter what, he will treat you the way you allow him to. But when you set standards, requirements and boundaries and he crosses the line, you teach him how to treat you through correction. If after you've made an attempt to give him a chance to correct his behavior, that is when you have to release him and walk away.
By doing so, you increase your value and you also increase the respect he has for you. If for example, a man you are dating stands you up, cancels last minute, shows up late or doesn't value your time in general, he is setting a tone for how will treat you in the future and testing to see what he can get away with. The more you allow him to get away with these little things without correction, the more he realizes how desperate you are for his love and affection, which may lead to unwanted ongoing disrespect. Better to set standards, requirements and boundaries and release any man who doesn't respect them.
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