How To Guarantee An Amazing Second Date
Updated: Mar 20
If you've made it passed the Buffer Date, which is highly recommend for a first date experience, chances are you are looking forward to seeing the guy again and you want it to be a memorable experience. For a lot of women, there is usually a struggle with making it to the second date because well... the guy never schedules it. But is there a way to guarantee not only a second date, but an AMAZING second date? The answer is YES! You can guarantee an amazing second date if you are the one who hosts it. Hmmm... Imagine how many second dates you would have if instead of sitting around waiting for the guy who JUST scheduled date #1 to come back and schedule date #2 while all you have to do is show up and receive...
In healthy relationships, there is something commonly referred to as reciprocity. The way this works is, when two people come together to mutually agreed upon purposes, both parties are adding equal value so that all of the weight doesn't fall on one person. Traditionally, 100% of the burden for setting up and paying for dates has fallen on men; meanwhile all the woman has to do is show up and enjoy all of the benefits at no cost to her. Unfortunately, this model no longer works, especially as we are discovering that men are realizing their worth more and more. In today's time, there are still men who operate in a traditional sense; the only problem is... modern women (in a lot of cases) don't find traditional men attractive.
What modern women find most attractive are the men who have self-respect, standards, requirements, morals, values, principles, and who hold women accountable (Alpha male). The men who fit the latter description look to make investments and get an immediate return on their investment. If there is no immediate return on his investment, he will gladly walk away and invest where there IS an immediate return on his investment. And rightfully so... a man who is not receiving on the level that he's giving should reevaluate the time, energy, effort and money being invested as well as the people he is investing in. And if we're being honest, women value and respect a man more for behaving this way than a man who is continuing to invest where there is no reciprocity (Beta male).
So how does a woman show a man reciprocity when it comes to dating? In my E-Course Learn How To Attract Your Ideal Mate In Just 14 Days, I have a series of videos that offer deeper insight on the sole purpose of dating and how to get the best out of the experience. In short, dating is a luxury; this reality is the first thing that needs to be understood. What that essentially means is, if a man never invites a woman on date, he can still make it into heaven... because taking a woman out on a date is not a man's purpose in this world. Dating is an extracurricular activity that is offered to individuals who have proven themselves worthy of the experience, and is not the sole duty of a man to perform for a woman.
To further emphasize this point, if for example, there is a man-to-man or woman-to-woman couple, who then is responsible for initiating dates? You guessed correctly... whoever wants to have the dating experience extends the invitation AND pays for it. OOOOOH I know you ladies don't want to hear this part, but this is primarily why so many single woman have been on so many dates with so many men and it never went passed date #1... because there was never an invitation to him for date #2. From the beginning, there was an automatic assumption that he wanted date #2, when the reality is he very likely didn't even want date #1. All he really wanted was you, and if he could get to you without going on any dates at all, he probably would.
It is worth noting, that most men are perfectly fine with not going out on dates, but they will participate if there is some benefit in it for them. What benefits are men looking for? Food, Sex & Peace Of Mind.
Now don't be discouraged, there are still plenty of guys out there who are willing to play the dating game (at least once) without receiving anything in return, but he most likely will stop after date #1 if there is no reciprocity (and rightfully so). The great news is... you can change that by simply opening up your schedule, opening up your wallet and opening up your heart to create an amazing dating experience (for him). If you're still reading this blog, you're either very curious about this approach or turned off. Either way, this approach will almost always guarantee date #2 if you've passed the vibe check on date #1.
What's the matter? You don't want to get creative? Don't feel like he's worth it because you just met him? Your pride in the way? Don't want to pay for an experience for two? If this is how you feel about him (or any guy you are dating), you might as well stop dating NOW. One of things that really stood out to me about my now fiancé is that the day after our first date (that I initiated), she turned around and invited me to this event where there was food, art, music, people and fun activities. I felt compelled to then invite her to something else because I appreciated the simple fact that she thought of me so early on in the relationship. I don't know where we would be today if she had not made that move.
In my coaching program, 100% of the focus is on helping single women attract their ideal mate. The way I help them tap into what's most attractive about themselves is by helping them articulate and demonstrate to a man as early as humanly possible WHY he should continue investing in her. And my now fiancé did just that; she stood out among every other woman on the planet because (among many other things), no other woman on the planet extended a second date and was consistent with reciprocating in the capacity that she did.
As you ladies try so very hard to convince men... a date doesn't have to be expensive, it just has to be thoughtful. Well this is your opportunity to be thoughtful and set yourself apart from other women by taking the initiative to schedule the second date. Maybe you have free tickets to a movie, concert or event... this is the perfect time to invite him into your world and share an experience. The benefits of doing this is, you get to see how he interacts on your turf, you get the second date you crave and you show him that you are invested in him. If he's smart, he will see the amount of effort you are putting into the dating experience and will match your energy. Make sense?
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