How To Qualify A Man Within The First 0-3 Days
There are 4 stages to cultivating a healthy relationship with man, and it's important not to skip any one of them.
Stage 1: Identifying his character and intentions (0-3 minutes)
Stage 2: Qualifying him for compatibility (0-3 days)
Stage 3: Certifying their is an alignment of values (0-3 weeks)
Stage 4: Solidifying the terms and agreement for a relationship (0-3 months)
In stage #1, we learned how to catch and release a man once you've concluded that he doesn't have good intentions or good character. Thankfully stage #1 only takes 0-3 minutes to figure out, simply by observing his body language, energy, conversation, eye contact, approach, etc. This helps filter out the men who don't belong in your life, and makes room for the quality men who do. Identifying which men should make it to stage #2 is essential to your relationship success. Failure to execute this step properly leads to a laundry list of problems later on down the line.
There are certain men you should stay far away from, and then there are certain men you should keep. Knowing the difference will change the way you date forever. The key here is knowing what signs to look out for and protecting yourself at all costs. Learn what signs to look out for in my book Food, Sex & Peace Of Mind: What A Woman Needs To Know To Keep A Man.
In stage #2, what you should be looking for is compatibility, and this can be accomplished over the phone. The key here is to video chat for about 15 minutes to qualify whether or not you should go out on a date with him. This phone call should be initiated by him within the first 0-3 days of meeting you. Anything beyond that reveals his lack of genuine interest in you. From the moment a man first meets you, start the clock and see how long it takes him to get on the phone with you. A man who is genuinely interested in you will be eager to talk on the phone to get better acquainted and see if the two of you are compatible enough for a first date.
A common mistake I see so many women making is they accept and go out on dates with any guy who extends an invitation. She doesn't take him through stage #1 (identifying his character and intentions). She doesn't take him through stage #2 (qualifying him for compatibility). Then she gets on the date and tries to take him through stage #2 (qualifying compatibility), while still skipping stage #1. All for a free meal, a few drinks and a chance to dress up and get some attention. And the worst part is, some women go as far as sleeping with a guy on the first night based on the representative he portrayed on the date.
From there, she attempts to take him to stage #3 (certifying shares values and alignment) and in most cases, this is where disaster strikes because you both parties involved started off by skipping steps. No matter how excited it may be to meet someone, quickly exchange numbers and go on an immediate date, there will always be a moment of clarity when it comes to shared values and alignment. This is where most women figure out that this person was never ideal for their lives, but was more so just a good time for the moment. So much value time wasted as a result of skipping steps.
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Now there are some women who take this route and get lucky, and the guy takes her seriously (even though he shouldn't). But you can't base your relationship success on luck; you want to have a repeatable strategy that works every time. By taking every man through stage #1 and stage #2, you increase your odds of investing time in the right man. Going on a date with someone whose character hasn't been identified and compatibility hasn't been qualified is a gamble. You're literally going into a date blindly, which by the way the guy is oh so grateful for. The more ignorant you are about his character, intentions and incompatibility, the easier it will be to manipulate you.
The more aware you are of this fact, the more likely you are to not waste your valuable time on dates with men who are incompatible with you. The best way to test and see if a man is compatible with you is by asking him key questions. It's important to ask these questions over a Face Time call and before the first date so you can gather valuable information. The truth is, not everyone is qualified to be dating, but even the unqualified will try. If you are a beautiful woman, many types of men will try to date you, and it's important that you protect yourself by asking him key questions within 0-3 days of meeting him.
Don't be afraid to take this step. It doesn't matter how good he looks, how much money he makes, how famous he is, how he's living or what he's driving. Not every man you meet will be qualified to date you. This is where having standards and requirements comes into play. You will know if a man is qualified to be on a date with you if you have standards. The purpose of the Face Time is very simple; you are measuring compatibility. A lot of women make the mistake of getting on a regular phone call with a guy they've just met as a courtesy, and move immediately to scheduling the date.
This is a big mistake. The purpose of that call (which should only last 15 minutes) is to evaluate him. Not let him lead the conversation in whatever direction he wants it to go, seducing you into wearing a certain thing and getting you excited about the date to come. Resist the temptation to take advantage of a free meal, because if you accept, you will be the free meal he looks to take advantage of in return. Instead, use the Face Time call to put him through an interview process where you ask all the pertinent questions you need to trust moving forward with this man.
Do it via Face Time so you can look in his eyes when he gives you his answers. You need to know if he lives with someone, does he have kids, is he 100% single, is he gainfully employed, and so much more. In most cases, finding this information out from the beginning may reveal to you that you don't any business being on a date with this man. And you'll be glad that you took him through the qualifying stage and dodged a bullet. The 15 minute Face Time conversation is extremely important and I cannot emphasize this enough. This should be a primary weapon in your vetting process arsenal.
To do this correctly, you'll need to know in advance what type of questions you should be asking him. You want to strike when he is least expecting it, and use the information you've gathered from the beginning to hold him accountable for the duration of your interactions with him. In the first 0-3 days of meeting a man, he will be totally unsuspecting and unprepared for the quality of questions you'll be asking him. This is where he will realize you are protected and being mentored by someone who knows the game.
In my book Dating Manual For Single Women: 30 Steps To Take Before A 1st Date, I layout a clear list of questions you should be asking a man before ever going out on a date with him. Follow the steps in this small, pocketbook sized manual, which is a 10 minute read, and I guarantee, you will find yourself on dates with more quality men.
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