How To Solidify A Relationship With A Man Within 0-3 Months
If your goal is to cultivate a healthy relationship with a man, you have to start with the end in mind. Going into a dating experience with a man without having an actual strategy and plan for how you're going to sustain a long term relationship is a gamble. It's like interning for a job without any discussion, clarity or confirmation from the employer that you are being considered as a serious long term candidate. Most women are wise enough not to stay on an internship for more than 90 days without any discussion, clarity or commitment, but when it comes to dating, the same principles don't apply.
There are 4 stages to cultivating a healthy relationship with man, and it's important not to skip any one of them.
Stage 1: Identifying A Man's Character Within 0-3 Minutes
Stage 2: Qualifying A Man's For Compatibility Within 0-3 Days
Stage 3: Certifying Alignment With A Man Within 0-3 weeks
Stage 4: Solidifying A Relationship With A Man Within 0-3 months
It makes no difference if you're applying for an internship, or applying for a relationship, 90 days is a sufficient amount of time to establish value, exchange value and measure value. By the end of the 90 day period, there should already be talks about the terms and agreement for next steps. If there are no conversations leading up to the 90 day mark about what the next steps should be, you are walking into a danger zone. In the danger zone, you will inevitably find confusion, doubt, fear and ambiguity because the leadership isn't providing you with any clarity.
A common mistake so many women make when they are having fun during the 90 day period, is they forget the main reason why they are engaging with the man in the first place. The main reason why you are entertaining a man for 90 days is to solidify a relationship. Remember? Losing sight or your goal is a recipe for failure. There's also the fear that if you bring up the topic of "What are we?, "What are we doing?, or "Where is this going?" that he would dismiss your feelings, disregard your questions and distance himself from you all together. This fear that you're exhibiting is his fuel; he knows you're afraid to ask him for clarity and he thrives on your fear.
If this has ever happened to you, the first thing you need to remember is how powerful and valuable you are. You need to remember how highly sought after you are as a woman. You need to remember that you are the giver of life and that you are wanted, needed and desired. If you have forgotten who you are and what value you bring to the world, the first thing you need to do is reclaim your power and who up on the dating scene as a force of nature. When you understand your power and your worth, you show up differently in the world and the men respond differently.
I want to help you get your power back. Learn how in my book Food, Sex & Peace Of Mind: What A Woman Needs To Know To Keep A Man.
If you are currently using dating apps, meeting men randomly in the streets, connecting with guys from social functions, etc, it's essential to your relationship success that you have a strategy to help you achieve your goal. If you don't have a goal, then you are pretty much giving men permission to lead you astray. A woman who is actively dating, but does not have an actual goal is like an intern who is just looking to be a part of a community, but doesn't care whether or not they get hired. Cultivating a healthy relationship takes time, energy, effort and an actual plan; without it, you are susceptible to attracting men who are essentially just like you... without a plan.
When it comes to solidifying a relationship, there's no guess work when you know exactly what to say, what to do, where to go and what to look out for. This is what dating and relationships are all about; knowing who you are, what you want and how you're going to get it. If you are crossing your fingers and hoping that your beauty or your brains will be enough to secure a relationship, you are wrong. Solidifying a relationship has nothing to do with being smart or beautiful; it has everything to do with communication skills.
For starters, when you first meet a guy, it's your job to identify his character based on the way he walks, talks and behaves. You'll learn more about how to pick up these visual cues in my book Food, Sex & Peace Of Mind. When the guy finally approaches you, you will be equipped before his arrival to identify whether or not his character is in what you are looking for in a man. Once you've determined he has good character, the next stage is to qualify him over a 15 minute Face Time phone call to see if you are compatible with each other. Pay attention to how slow we're moving... properly assessing... gathering information... vetting...
Most single women drop the ball on the Face Time call because she doesn't know what questions she should be asking to qualify him. She's so excited about the possibility of being asked out on a date, that she's willing to risk going out with someone she's incompatible with than to end the phone call and bid him farewell. This is a big mistake that causes future anxiety, pain and suffering when allowing unqualified men into your life. To avoid this, I'm going to provide you with all the right questions you should be asking a man before accepting a date from him. You can find these questions in my book Dating Manual For Single Women: 30 Steps To Take Before A 1st Date.
Once you've qualified the man over the Face Time call and you've decided to accept the first date, your job as a detective is not over. Think of a first date like you would a face to face interview for an internship. You haven't gotten the job, you're not on the payroll, you're getting to know the company to see if you are interested in possibly learning more about the vision and mission of the company. The same applies when going out on dates with men.
This is your opportunity to learn more about this vision and his mission; the great part about doing this on a date is you get to feel his energy when he speaks and look him in his eyes to feel his passion. It's hard to fake authenticity in person, which is why we meet in person and don't rely on cultivating relationships digitally and/or virtually. Once you've gotten past the qualifying stage within the first 0-3 days, you should now be looking to certify there is an alignment of values within 0-3 weeks. This is where you need to pay the most attention, because without an alignment of values, there can be no relationship.
It doesn't matter how much fun you're having going out on dates with a guy; the dates are nothing more than face to face interview opportunities. If you are missing your opportunity to gather information about the guy because you've resigned yourself to a childlike state, consumed with adventure and assignment, then you clearly are not understanding the assignment. Time is of the essence here; the more time you focus on your strategy and plan, the greater your chances of achieving relationship success.
The certifying stage is one of the most challenges stages for most women because of a subconscious scarcity mindset. She doesn't quite know how to identify quality men, doesn't qualify a man before moving forward, bringing her to the point of being courted by a man who is most likely not ideal for her. Her biggest fear is that if she asks for too much, she may not be able to attract a man as good as the one she has, or he will leave her. Abandon this mindset once and for all; the man of your dreams exists, you just have to know how to attract him.
There is no way of escaping asking a guy questions for clarity and communicating what's important to you. In fact, you shouldn't want to attract a man any other way. For the longest, you've been deathly afraid that if you spoke from a place of truth and power, none of the men around you would be qualified enough to be with you. All that means is, you are fishing in the wrong pond. Knowing where to go to meet top tier men, what to say and what to do is essential for you meeting the right guy. Without these tools, you'll continue to entertain men who are beneath you.
Today will be your last day worrying about whether or not a guy is aligned with you and your values. There is a way that you can create, target and attract your ideal mate with great precision each and every time. In order to do this, you have to understand your power and how men think (which you'll learn in my book Food, Sex & Peace Of Mind). You'll need to know what questions to ask a man when you finally identify men who have good character (which you'll learn in my book Dating Manual For Single Women). And finally, you'll need to know where to go, what to say and what to do to attract your ideal mate (which you'll learn in my E-Course Learn How Attract Your Ideal Mate In Just 14 Days).
Cultivating a healthy relationship with a man might seem like a daunting task, especially if you've been attempting to figure all of this out on your own. Unfortunately for a lot of single women, there was no father present to warn her of all the male predators. Or worse, the father didn't equip his daughter with an offensive strategy to cultivate a healthy relationship with a man. We see this happen quite often, as illustrated in movies like "Bad Boys II" where Marcus' daughter is about to go out on a date with a guy and he comes to the house to pick her up. Marcus and "Mike Larry" to intimidate the guy because they know they didn't properly prepare the girl for how to handle themselves in the company of men.
This may very well be your story too and it's caused you great pain not understanding why men want to come into your life just for sex, but not solidify the relationship with you. They'll do all the things like having sex, traveling together, moving in together, etc but won't actually make things official and legitimate. First of all, I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but rest assured that this will be the last time you experience this if you follow the plan I'm about to give you. I'm not your father, but I am a man who cares about the protection and preservation of women. There is a way to combat men who want to come into your life, take what they want and leave without properly honoring you.
Your father may not have shared this with you, and you might not have who is personally helping you figure this thing out, but that ends today. The reason why it is taking you so many years to solidify a healthy, long-lasting relationship is because you are in need of a mentor. A mentor's job is to save you time by providing you with blueprints that will help you avoid the pitfalls you've been experiencing. As your mentor, I have the secret to helping you cultivate a healthy relationship with a man.
The key to taking things to the next level is to negotiate the terms and agreements for a relationship with a man within the first 0-3 months. Once the 0-3 month period has passed, he now has to make a final decision about you and where the relationship is going. If he is not ready to give you the clarity that you deserve, you must have the strength to walk away. When you communicate your terms and agreements and he chooses not to agree, the worst thing you could ever do is compromise your standards by staying. When you stay in a place where your needs aren't being considered, you are telling the man you accept this poor behavior.
It's not always easy to walk away from someone you've been creating a bond with for the last 3 months, but it's better to walk away after 3 months than to waste 3+ years. Talking to someone about strategies on how to enter a relationship, sustain a relationship and even sometimes exit a relationship will provide you with the peace of mind you need to remain in a healthy relationship with yourself. If you want to learn how to cultivate a healthy relationship with a man in just 90 days, I would be honored to be your mentorship guide.
Click here to apply for mentorship and schedule a 15-minute discovery call.
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Your mentor,
Cheyenne